Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize