So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize