physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
