Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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