I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
