Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
