You're my little dorito
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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