i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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