she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
