Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
