It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
