and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
