So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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