No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
