i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
