does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
