i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
