I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize