theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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