Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
