I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
