I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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