we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
