I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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