Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
