god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
