First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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