I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
