lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
