I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
