Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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