What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize