i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
