White coat. Heels.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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