He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
