i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is Oprah even human
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize