i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
