Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize