i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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