day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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