just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize