Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
