Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's shark week go big or go home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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