Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
