We're like a lot better than the average bears
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
