That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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