the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
