she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
