i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
