you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
