Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
