my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
