Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
