No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
3 2 1 whiskey
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
