He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
