The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
