does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
