areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your penis caused this!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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