Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
