Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
