You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
