Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
