I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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