I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
