I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sext me about skeletons
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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