I'm going to jail i love you
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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