barbara walters just said penis...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
