dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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