yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
