this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
even my farts smell like vagina
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
