IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
