He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
